Then something happened. Perhaps it was just too much, what with all the inconvenient interruptions and running, trying to stay dry in the wet world of 2-year-olds, I don’t know, and I can’t afford the therapy to find out. But suddenly, all of her training efforts went down the toilet. I could deal with the regression, but I could not deal with changing sheets in the wee hours of the morning. Since this kid couldn’t make up her mind, I put her indecisive tush back in Depends for toddlers. This irritated her to no end, most memorably, during a standoff in the Walbaum’s parking lot where she bellowed, “This freakin’ freakin’ diaper is killin’ me!", then yanked the bloated mess out from under her dainty pinafore dress and tossed it onto the asphalt. Unfortunately, her public rebellion did not induce her use of the toilet, so we kept using the freakin freakin’ diapers.
And then about three months later, my daughter approached me and declared, “Tonight I am going to wear my Big Girl Pants to bed!”
Hooray is not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was where could I be besides home at 2am when my daughter needs her sheets changed? But of course, I just smiled and said “Great!” because that’s what mommies who don’t want to be taken away by social services do. Then I hauled out a big plastic tarp from our last paint job.
The next morning, to my surprise, my daughter’s bed was dry. Her little Pink Power Ranger undies were dry too. I looked at her and said, “That’s so amazing, girlie! What changed that you are all trained up now?”
She looked me in the eyes and said, “I changed my mind”.
And from that day forward, my daughter has been one of the most focused, powerful and accomplished people I know. She’s actually a living, breathing Super Girl, and it all started the day she changed her mind and put on her Big Girl Pants.
From the mouths of babes, my friends…you get that this is not just about my daughter and potty training, right? This is us. This is what it takes to be all trained up.
We simply have to change our minds.
Most of us have been down the training road before and it hasn’t always gone in the right direction. We try a few approaches and they don’t quite work, or we feel like we don’t really know what we’re supposed to do, or it's all just too difficult and inconvenient to maintain…The people around us smile and say "Great!" when we announce we’ve started another diet, when we make our New Year’s Resolutions, when we begin new training regimens. They want us to succeed. We would be nicer to them if we weren’t so miserable with ourselves. But they have their suspicions about where it’s going to go, and they wonder where else they can be when we start shrieking, “Nothing fits and these freakin’ freakin’ Spanx are killing me!”
At some point, we just get too uncomfortable with our freakin’ freakin’ selves. We want to blame someone or something for what we perceive are our failures--it’s the kids’ snacks that kill me, my husband eats whatever he wants, my friends don’t exercise, my body just doesn’t respond to…We distance ourselves from our circumstances with complaints. Upon closer inspection, however, have you noticed that the one common denominator in all of these circumstances is, um, us? Wherever my complaints are, there I am! It’s you and me, standing there in a mess we made ourselves. The only way to clean it up is to change our minds about what we are willing to accept and who we declare ourselves to be.
When it comes to our health and fitness, it is the moment we give up the idea that our circumstances dictate our success; that we haven't got enough _______ or aren’t _______enough. Fill in what you want there.
Then change your mind.
I have seen incredible transformations as a trainer. I have watched women who have been training and trying to lose weight and get in shape for years, suddenly create extraordinary results. Diet and exercise, time and money, can support you once you are in motion. But they are never the impetus for the initial action, and there will never be enough to sustain your envisioned future until you choose to change your mind about who you are, right now, in this moment.
It is always and only a declaration to empower yourself that creates results.
You are Super Girl, powerful and responsible for your life, so toss your freakin’ freakin’ complaints, put on your Big Girl Pants, and get going!