Rug-e-Lor
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Rug-e-Lor
(English Translation: Does this make my tuchas look big?)
I have long skirted around putting this recipe down in writing, not because I needed to maintain exclusive rights to my concoction, but rather, to avoid the certain eyeball- rolling, head-shaking sighs of my family who will most certainly view the vast majority of my ingredient selections as ruefully unhealthy, if not outright contraband. Frankly, my self-induced exile on Long Island has allowed me to prepare my delicacies off-shore and export them to New Jersey factions of the Mishpacha without anyone knowing the actual fat and sugar ratios they are about to consume. Perhaps I am no different than a common drug lord, addicting innocent victims to illegal substances. But the stakes are high. My personal fat ratio would look a whole lot better if the nymphs in my family put on a few pounds. Perhaps you can help me fatten them up.
Here’s the plan:
Dough
1/2 lb. butter (2 sticks), softened
8 oz cream cheese
2 cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup granulated sugar
Step 1: Remove any notion you might have about using a low-fat cream cheese or butter alternative.
Step 2: Resist all temptation to incorporate whole-wheat ANYTHING.
Step 3: Stop deluding yourself into thinking that no one will taste the difference between apple juice concentrate and plain old tooth-rotting sugar.
Step 4: Take a deep breath and cream sugar, cream cheese and butter. Gradually add flour and knead until all flour is incorporated. Divide dough into 3-4 balls, wrap and let chill for an hour.
You, on the other hand, will not chill for an hour. It is time to prepare the filling (also known as something to nosh on while you are waiting for the dough to chill). Of course, if you are beginning to feel a little anxious at the thought of impending caloric overload, you could go out for a quick run.
Filling
1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
½ cup packed brown sugar
½ cup raisins
½ cup chopped pecans
1 teas. cinnamon
Step 1: Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Consider that any one of these items on its own would be a treat.
Step 2: Taste. Throw a few more raisins in just for fun.
Step 3: Taste again. No, you may not just skip the dough part.
Step 4: Clean up work surface and floor, and watch clock till hour has past. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Step 5: Roll out dough to 1/16-inch circle and spread whatever is left of the filling on top. (If dough is sticky, roll out onto a bit of flour)
Step 6: Cut like a pizza into 12 slices and roll up from wide end toward the point. Anything that falls out is fair game. Repeat with all dough. For filling variations, see below.
Step 7: Place on lightly greased cookie sheet (Fine, use the Pam spray if it will make you feel better). Bake for 10 minutes. Brush with melted butter, sprinkle with sugar, and bake 5-10 more minutes or until lightly browned.
Filling Variations
Oh, just go crazy with it…and whatever you do, never let your conscience be your guide.
(English Translation: Does this make my tuchas look big?)
I have long skirted around putting this recipe down in writing, not because I needed to maintain exclusive rights to my concoction, but rather, to avoid the certain eyeball- rolling, head-shaking sighs of my family who will most certainly view the vast majority of my ingredient selections as ruefully unhealthy, if not outright contraband. Frankly, my self-induced exile on Long Island has allowed me to prepare my delicacies off-shore and export them to New Jersey factions of the Mishpacha without anyone knowing the actual fat and sugar ratios they are about to consume. Perhaps I am no different than a common drug lord, addicting innocent victims to illegal substances. But the stakes are high. My personal fat ratio would look a whole lot better if the nymphs in my family put on a few pounds. Perhaps you can help me fatten them up.
Here’s the plan:
Dough
1/2 lb. butter (2 sticks), softened
8 oz cream cheese
2 cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup granulated sugar
Step 1: Remove any notion you might have about using a low-fat cream cheese or butter alternative.
Step 2: Resist all temptation to incorporate whole-wheat ANYTHING.
Step 3: Stop deluding yourself into thinking that no one will taste the difference between apple juice concentrate and plain old tooth-rotting sugar.
Step 4: Take a deep breath and cream sugar, cream cheese and butter. Gradually add flour and knead until all flour is incorporated. Divide dough into 3-4 balls, wrap and let chill for an hour.
You, on the other hand, will not chill for an hour. It is time to prepare the filling (also known as something to nosh on while you are waiting for the dough to chill). Of course, if you are beginning to feel a little anxious at the thought of impending caloric overload, you could go out for a quick run.
Filling
1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
½ cup packed brown sugar
½ cup raisins
½ cup chopped pecans
1 teas. cinnamon
Step 1: Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Consider that any one of these items on its own would be a treat.
Step 2: Taste. Throw a few more raisins in just for fun.
Step 3: Taste again. No, you may not just skip the dough part.
Step 4: Clean up work surface and floor, and watch clock till hour has past. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Step 5: Roll out dough to 1/16-inch circle and spread whatever is left of the filling on top. (If dough is sticky, roll out onto a bit of flour)
Step 6: Cut like a pizza into 12 slices and roll up from wide end toward the point. Anything that falls out is fair game. Repeat with all dough. For filling variations, see below.
Step 7: Place on lightly greased cookie sheet (Fine, use the Pam spray if it will make you feel better). Bake for 10 minutes. Brush with melted butter, sprinkle with sugar, and bake 5-10 more minutes or until lightly browned.
Filling Variations
Oh, just go crazy with it…and whatever you do, never let your conscience be your guide.
- White and milk chocolate chips
- Dried cherries and white chocolate or chocolate chips
- Chocolate chips and shredded coconut
- Butterscotch and white chocolate chips
- Peanut butter chips and raisons or dried cherries
